filtered by journey tag

Finding My Voice

I look for other people who share my ideas. When I don’t find common ground, I hold onto those ideas even tighter. I have an experience that validates those ideas. The things I have learned have come through a great deal of trial and error, but also successes. I have gleaned much wisdom from those who have come before, but I have also been blazing trails in the wild, in obscure places, where I have been trying new things.

Returning to civilization, I discover that the landscape has changed. People seem to be speaking a different dialect and I need to learn new vocabularies, phrases, inflections and intonations. As an alien, an exile in a foreign land, I have a constant feeling that I am different, a social misfit, disconnected from the wider community. If I assimilate, I fear that I will lose the part of me that makes me unique, the distinct differences that I have come to value. Others do not appear to have the same appreciation for the rituals I follow and the goods I have to offer. They have difficulty imagining how to integrate these strange tools and practices into their daily lives. In fact, the thought does not cross their minds. They have their own culture and customs, their own dietary practices and traditions, their own daily rituals and ways of living.

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A journey, not a destination

I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a leader. On the other hand, I wouldn’t call myself a follower either. “I am a rock. I am an island.”

I am an individualist looking for a community. But I’ve been living in my own head for way too long and I often don’t know how to play well with others. That’s not to say that I don’t try my best to be a team player and get along with others. But there is a point at which I start to say to myself, “There has got to be a better way.” And I feel myself starting to disengage when I make my opinions known and I feel like I am not being heard. Am I being too abrasive or annoying, or am I simply an ineffective salesman? Perhaps, influencing is not my gift.

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